Posts from long ago, for posterity’s sake.

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Why I hug…

When I was about 18, I worked in a small business of about 8 employees. They refurbished leased copiers for a Minolta outlet.

I spent most of my time, winter included, in the warehouse section of the building – forklifting copiers into boxes, pouring chemical corner-forms into those boxes to hold the copiers in place, taping them up and shipping them out.

For the most part, I was in that warehouse alone.

There was an guy who worked there by the name of Jeff Stark.  (He and I met at my very first job – working for Dallas Music Industries / Sound City.) Nearly 10 years my senior, Jeff was the primary person who’d spend any time with me in that warehouse.  This lasted for about a year.

Jeff had a fascinating story.  When he was in his late teens, Jeff was in a horrible motor vehicle accident which left his face permanently disfigured.  Not mangled, mind you, but some really serious scars.  Which were probably worse before plastic surgery.  (Ever see the bully in Three O’Clock High?  Jeff looked just like him, menacing included.  But he was a sweetheart.)

As a result of this accident, Jeff got a huge insurance settlement, which was held in trust until he turned 18.

Not one for money in the first place, Jeff drove around in a Chevette.  He could have bought just about any car he wanted, but it wasn’t important to him.

Now Jeff played guitar – and had a really great rock and roll band.  And this was the ONE place Jeff spent money.  He equipped that band with the best PA and lights… because that was what was important to him. Read more

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Personal Sovereignty.

(From 2008… what a trip it’s been.)

So I’ve gone through some pretty big changes over the past year.

Not the least of which were both an end to a relationship, and a move.  Those are just two of many.

And yer little dog, too. :)And it’s not just happening to me – most everyone I know has been experiencing these same fundamental shifts.

We all go through changes – but these changes, for both me and these others, have been profound – not just in logistics or relationship, but in mindset and consciousness.

Initially,  it felt like being tossed into a pretty big whirlwind – and “Dorothy moments” are not exactly the times where one begins healthy self-examination… you’re too busy waiting for the house to stop spinning.

But sooner or later, one might stop and say “hey… wait just a minute here!”

Which I did.

I’ve never been an out-and-out doormat… but when I look back through my life, there have been countless times where I didn’t advocate for myself.  I was a “go along to get along” kind of person – and what resulted was an emptiness, because I wasn’t insisting on what I needed… from a partner, or a client, a friend, or, most importantly – from myself.

I went through life expecting that sooner or later, things would change for me…. that my partners would give the love I needed, that my music would be recognized for what I’ve always known it should be… that, in some fundamental way, I’d feel complete – if I just kept waiting – and being the awesome full-of-love-and-potential me that is me.

See, I had unconsciously come to see myself as a work-in-progress… that I was full of potential, and that at some point I’d have fixed what I needed to fix, and then my life would really begin. Read more